Companeros, take heart~
though your roots be torn
they will grow again in new ground
and brighter days will rise
from the fertile dark.

had this crazy dream last night, and so I wrote it down for my sister as a birthday offering. not sure what it is offering, yet, here it goes..Jd’s Birthday Dream:

(a vivid and fun one, lots of detail and emotion)

So you and I are wandering through a forest of thick bramble and woodsy terrain. Suddenly the skies go dark; there is no visibility in this strange and slightly frightening place. So after following you, arm in arm, and getting nowhere, (your even directionally challenged in my dreams) we decide to let lil’ ol me take the lead. Gracefully, as if by magic, we mazed our way through the branches, puddles and frightful mystery… And as suddenly as the dark closed in, we had found a way out!

As the end of the forest approached there was a beautiful scene of cliffs and breaking ocean waves. Arm in arm we dove into the sapphire blue sea and let the waves toss us around like little children. Then… HARK! Karen spots a boat at sea! As she swims for it, JD bobs in the water waiting to see what the fuss is.

When she finally reached the deck of the boat, in the dim light of exhaustion and with a glimmer of hope, she sees it- a dead man with eyes wide open.

“Jenny, get up here, there’s a dead guy!”

She climbs up to the assumed and in disbelief whispers into Karen’s ear: “Sweet, look at this boat!”

And so JD and Karen make themselves at home on this dead stranger’s boat, finding the most comfortable bed, the most delicious foods and with a Goldilocks approach, settled in for the night.

After a few hours of rest and relaxation, (after all they were just lost in a wild forest) Karen hears a noise coming from the deck. Within seconds... he appears.

The dead guy.

“What?! I thought you were dead!"

Apparently this man, this boat owner from the cliffside of the ocean, sleeps with his eyes open.

And here is where the story gets weird. Karen starts to feel certain closeness with the stranger; in fact, he seems to be befriending her parents (who suddenly enter the dream and the boat) and is looking more and more familiar to her…

Wait, its DR. MATHEWS!!!

And after a few minutes of this older Dr. from her past, courting young Karen... she realizes that everyone in the dream is OK with the fact that her Doc is coming on to her. Weird.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Time to get up, end of dream.

*after reading this over, i realize it sounds like some freakish confession. it's not.. i guess you just have to know my sister and i to get its full meaning.

Happy birthday JD!

Why do we live in such terror of death? Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is that we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity; but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our "biography," our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards. . . . It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security. So when they are all taken away, will we have any idea of who we really are?

We live under an assumed identity, in a neurotic fairy-tale world with no more reality than the Mock Turtle in Alice in Wonderland. Hypnotized by the thrill of building, we have raised the houses of our lives on sand.

This world can seem marvelously convincing until death collapses the illusion and evicts us from our hiding place. And what will happen to us then if we have no clue of any deeper reality?

sogyal rinpoche

"Artwork by convicts and ex-convicts from Oregon will be on display at Enterbeing, located at 16th and NE Alberta in Portland, from February 22nd through March 21st. The show will open at 5 p.m. on February 22nd as part of Alberta Street's Fourth Thursday events. The public is invited to attend."

Monkey Mind

Wonderful, indeed, it is to subdue the mind, so difficult to subdue, ever swift, and seizing whatever it desires. A tamed mind brings happiness.
-The Dhammapada

Enlightenment, because of its mysterious nature,

has become a subject of so many fantasies!

But what is the reality behind it?

Do you want to know?

If yes - look inside and see who you are Now!

there is something to be said about perseverance and doing that which feels "good". and i will say this: when it comes to snowing around on mountainous jewels of ice i choose to ski, not snowboard. it may be the way in which one feels composed upon two skis with two poles, like a strong and confident praying mantis, or the divine music of swish, or the savoring of air at crackling speed that bring my heart such joy. yet, nearly half of the mountain population are on snowboards! and so, i gave the board and her cohort of bangs and spills and wipe-outs a shot. yup, i am most definitely a ski girl, not a boardy.

The Bull

The oldest bull crossed the day.
His legs scratched the planet.
He continued, traveling to where the sea lives.
He reached the shore, the oldest bull.
On the edge of time, the ocean.
He closed his eyes and grass covered him.
He breathed the whole green distance.
And silence built the rest.

-Pablo Neruda

Do you believe in what you see?

is see SNOW!

"Perpetual inspiration is as necessary to the life of goodness, holiness and happiness as perpetual respiration is necessary to animal life."

-William Law

Traveling can be a bitch. and it can also be fun, rewarding and filled with unexpected gifts- like seeing our loved ones all grown up, sharing a sacred moment with a blood relative, or just in-joying the slight change in climate. In the last few weeks i have traveled from the tops of the West coast down to its seemingly sensuous seams at the bottom; from the sparkling lakeside of Northwest into the hot breathing hills of California- and what did i learn? what a New Years eve is like sober. Thank Goodness for Growth! now, with much excitement, i present Charlie Balcom- just a lil' more grown up...

YEAH!! IZA FEATURED ARTIST!!!

www.absolutearts.com

There are a million ways to sweep: rushed and sloppy, short with quick efficiency, grand sweeps with an eloquent back swing, a sneak attack...all great lifetime metephors. Today the sweep was exhilarating, meaningful and poetic...i half smiled as dust-made masterpieces graced the floor; light and space settled into a fresh and dazzled awareness.. and yet again, i am humbled to return to the practice. That's the thing- sometimes the mundane is mind-blowing and the simple a symphony.

this year i devote myself to Tolerance- to live this life with all the strength, compassion and acceptance i can muster. to realize that this life is a gift.

no thought, no mind, no sound, no syllables, no perception... no self

The Family

"...thoughts and emotions are the radiance and expression of the very nature of the mind. They rise from the mind, but where do they dissolve? Back into the mind. Whatever rises, do not see it as a particular problem. If you do not impulsively react, if you are only patient, it will once again settle into its essential nature.
When you have this understanding, then rising thoughts only enhance your practice. But when you do not understand what they intrinsically are - the radiance of the nature of your mind - then your thoughts become the seed of confusion. So have a spacious, open, and compassionate attitude toward your thoughts and emotions, because in fact your thoughts are your family, the family of your mind. "
Sogyal Rinpoche

Each of the seven days of Kwanzaa is dedicated to one of the following principles, which are explained by Karenga as follows:

Umoja (Unity) To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems and to solve them together.

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Nia (Purpose) To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Kuumba (Creativity) To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Imani (Faith) To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

(from WIKIPEDIA)

Old Man with Torah 1999; Hyman Bloom

Hanukkah o Hanukkah, come light the Menorah.. lets have a party, we'll all dance the hora??.. while fried foods, candle lighting, and dreidels are all genuine markers of the holy celebration of Hanukkah, i want to re-mind us all that this Festival of Lights is also about rededication. and rededication is good. when one candle burned for eight long days on such a small reserve of olive oil, was it not like our own inner fire; the eternal lamp that kept our temple illumined; the flames of dedication? i devote this day of Hanukkah to all beings who devote themselves to their Higher Selves, no matter how the temple crumbles.

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff finger

sat the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

-Mary Oliver