Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has kept us alive, and has preserved us, and enabled us to reach this time.

Thou Livest!

Thou livest, but not from determined time or known epoch.
Thou livest, but not with soul or breath, for Thou art soul of the soul.
Thou livest, but not as the life of man that is like vanity, its end in moths and worms.
Thou livest, and whoever attains Thy secret will find eternal delight --
"and eat, and live for ever."

~Solomon ibn Gabirol

Praying

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

~Mary Oliver

Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose, get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter
I put my hand in my fathers glove

I run off where the drifts get deeper
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice you must learn to stand up for yourself
Cause I cant always be around

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that Ill always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter melts
Flowers competing for the sun
Years go by and I'm here still waiting
Withering where some snowman was

Mirror mirror wheres the crystal palace
But I only can see myself
Skating around the truth who I am
But I know, dad, the ice is getting thing

Hair is gray and the fires are burning
So many dreams on the shelf
You say I wanted you to be proud
I always wanted that myself

Lyrics from Tori Amos: 'Winter'

This self-sufficient black lady has shaken things up

Listen, faithful Tibetans!
I am merging with the fundamental, the ground of all that is---
physical pain and suffering are disappearing....

The son, the inner elements of my body,
is reuniting with the mother, the outer elements.
Her physical remains will disappear into earth and stone.

The compassion of the Guru has never left me;
his manifestations fill all the world and call out to welcome me.

This wild lady has done everything;
Many times have I come and gone, but now, no longer.
I am a Tibetan wife sent back to her family.
I shall now appear as the Queen, the All-good, the Dharmakaya.

This self-sufficient black lady
has shaken things up far and wide;
now the shaking will carry me away into the southwest.

I have finished with intrigues,
with the fervent cascades of schemes and deceptions;
I am winding my way into the expanse of the Dharma.

I have mourned many men of Tibet who have left me behind---
but now I am the one who will go to the land of the Buddhas.

~Yeshe Tsogyal

(Yeshe Tsogyel (or Yeshe Tsogyal) is traditionally said to have been a princess in pre-Buddhist Tibet. She was married to a king at the age of twelve, but ran away to study meditation for three years with a Buddhist master and travelled to Nepal. She later returned to Tibet to help establish Buddhism in Tibet.)

Someone told me recently that the "problem" with society is that everyone feels the need to control their lives and perhaps the lives of others; the way to live with happiness is an occasional break from these constrictions. I have always been a true dichotomous thinker: either it is black or it is white. And I admit it- this way of thinking has always gotten me in trouble. While these ideas of moderation, exploring the gray areas, walking the "middle" path... is intriguing, I still feel a strong to connection to what Virginia Wolf once said:

"To enjoy freedom, if the platitude is pardonable, we have of course to control ourselves. We must not squander our powers, helplessly and ignorantly, squirting half the house in order to water a single rose-bush; we must train them, exactly and powerfully, here on the very spot."

I think freedom and happiness can be a result of control. Like yogis and martial artists and dedicated athletes. Why squander our energy? If we are compassionate with our selves, and are able to see control as a way of refining our abilities (even our ability to relax and rest!) then there is no reason to 'blame' society for the misinterpretations of our own egos.